A Long Journey
by insanewytch
Summary: Tim tries to kill himself and these are what follows
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Looking out over the frozen landscape, Tim McGee watched the world go by his apartment window. Just days before he met with his parents and they said that he was no longer part of their family. Told many years ago that they didn't love him. Estranged from his sister and grandmother, isolated from his team Tim picks up a bottle of sleeping pills and begins to count out a handful. He swallows them down with a bottle of alcohol. He begins to drift away, hoping to end the pain he feels every day.

Gibbs, whose team was on call, cool word about a case and called all the team. He couldn't get a hold of Tim and went to his apartment. Gibbs knocked and knocked but got no answer. He then preceded to pick the lock and enter the apartment and in the bedroom found Tim.

He was passed out on the bed. McGee's pulse was weak and he didn't respond to Gibbs order to wake up. Growing alarmed, Gibbs Called 911 and requested an ambulance to respond to McGee's apartment. Looking around he spotted the pills and knew in that instance that Tim tried to kill himself.

Later at the hospital, Gibbs called the team to let them know what happened. Donald "Ducky" Mallard said that he would meet Gibbs at the hospital and talk with Tim's doctor. Tony said that he and Ziva would work the crime scene and meet him at the hospital. He also said that he would inform Abbey about what happened.

Just then Ducky arrived and immediately went in search of the doctor. After talking with the man for a few minutes he then joined Gibbs in the waiting room. "Jethro how did this happen" says Ducky. "I have no clue, when he didn't answer, I got into his apartment and found him like that" replied Gibbs. Not one to admit that he was scared, Gibbs found that he may never get a chance to tell Tim how he feels about him.

Now only time will tell. Just then the doctor came out to talk to the two men.


	2. Chapter 2

_McGee has been estranged from his parents for several years and his grandmother and sister the last few. He has begun to feel like no one wants him. What happened to his dog will come up and why he feels isolated will come up. Furthermore I don't own so I make no money so please don't sue. Also he just met with his parents a few months before this story starts._

**Chapter 2**

The doctor came out to greet the two men in the hallway. "Family of Timothy McGee," says the doctor. "That's us" says Gibbs. "Are you Jethro Gibbs" asks the doctor. "Yes," says a puzzled Gibbs. "I can talk to you as you are listed as the next of kin," says the doctor, "Agent McGee has taken an overdose of sleeping medications he was prescribed. He apparently has not taken them so he would have enough" "If you haven't gotten him help when you did he would be dead." states a weary doctor. "What now" asks Ducky. "We will keep him for at least 72 hours and then go from there" the doctor tells them. "I'll have the nurse get you when we have him in a room" "Thank you" says Ducky.

"What a mess Duck" says Gibbs. "If we hadn't gotten a call out then he would be dead" "Yes, but we mustn't dwell on it Jethro, we must focus on Timothy's recovery" says Ducky. Gibbs walks away pulling out his cell to call Tony and get an update. He then goes to the waiting room and waits for the nurse to come and get him.

At the crime scene, Tony and Ziva are gathering evidence in near silence. Each worrying about losing a teammate and close friend. They are beating themselves up over not seeing it sooner. They are also wondering about Abby and how she is doing.

At headquarters, Abby is staring at the phone and will it to call. She is hoping that the call telling them that Timmy was in the hospital was just a joke. She couldn't believe that McGee tried to kill himself. How had she missed it?

The next morning a groggy Tim awakes to sun shining through the closed blinds of the room's windows. The nurse comes in the room. "Good morning, Mr. McGee" says the nurse, "how are we this morning?"

Who stopped me thinks McGee. Just then the doctor and Gibbs come into the room. "How are you this morning Agent McGee?" asks the doctor. Silence fills the room and then the doctor tells him that Gibbs found him and got him help. They will keep him for observation and then decide what to do from there. The doctor leaves. Gibbs sits in the chair beside the bed and just looks at McGee. He is wondering what is going on in McGee's head at that exact moment. The fear that Gibbs will lose McGee is now ever present at the front of his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Gibbs just sits there for the next hour. He just stares at McGee. McGee stares blankly ahead at nothing. When he awoke, he just retreated to some place deep within. Gibbs just lets the time pass without making a sound. The hospital staff works around him and bustles about, coming in and out every few minutes.

Ducky arrives just as the psychiatrist comes in to talk to Tim. "If you gentlemen will excuse us for a few moments I would like to talk to Mr. McGee by himself" says the doctor. "Of course," says Ducky. He and Gibbs leave the room, they go get some coffee. The doctor then spends the next half hour trying to get McGee to talk. But he doesn't, all Tim does is stare at the celling. Ducky and Gibbs come back and meet the doctor outside Tim's room.

"I think we might have to admit Timothy to the psych ward for a while" says the doctor. "Is there any way we can avoid that" asks Ducky, "I believe he will retreat further if we were to do that." "We can keep him for a week, if there is improvement then I will send him home with someone" says the doctor. "Alright" agrees Gibbs who immediately goes into Tim's room.

"McGee, look at me. Why did you do it" demands Gibbs. Tim just remains silent, staring at the ceiling. "Damn it, Tim if you don't talk they will place you on the psych ward for a long while" pleads Gibbs. "I just wanted it to stop" Tim whispers as tears leak out of his eyes. "Wanted what to stop" asks Gibbs as the doctor and Ducky come into the room. "The emptiness" says Tim.

"Try to keep him talking" says the doctor in a low voice as so Tim won't over hear. "Why were you feeling empty" asks Gibbs gently. "I have nobody" says Tim. "What about your family?" "They don't want me" "What about the team?" "They don't want me either?" "I think that's enough for today" says the doctor. He ushers Gibbs and Ducky from the room.

"I think we have got off to a good start" says the Doctor. Ducky, who was quiet during the scene in the room, asks what they should do now. "We will start him on some medication and get him talking some more" says the doctor. The doctor considers how to word the next question. "I think that Agent McGee would best respond to you, Agent Gibbs" says the doctor. "Do you think that's wise doctor" says Ducky. "He is the only one Agent McGee responded to, If Agent Gibbs can get him talking it is for the best. For the record I think this is the best option" replies the doctor.

The next few days past with Gibbs learning more about Timothy McGee and his family situation as well as how he saw the team. He learned that McGee's parents didn't care for him and his grandmother didn't talk to him anymore. That was because he didn't talk to his parents and refused to make the first move to heal the rift in the family. Gibbs also learn his sister didn't talk to him unless she need something from him or him to do something for her. Tim has been start on antidepressants and has been responding well to them.

Ducky has been by to visit so has most of the team. Abby has stayed away. She feels that it couldn't have been that bad. The rest of the team wonders and worries how they could have missed the warning signs. Tony worries that he might have pushed Tim to the edge. Ducky worries that Jethro will get hurt. That he feels that Gibbs believes he is responsible for Tim's suicide attempt. Vance decides to give Gibbs a few weeks. Gibbs is going to take Tim in to his home. Tim will have to stay with someone when he's released and Gibbs wants Tim to know that the team cares about him. That he does have a family in the team.

By the end of the week Tim was ready to leave the hospital. Gibbs has told him that he will be going home with him and Tim was waiting for Gibbs to come and get him. The doctor came in with Tm's discharge papers followed by Gibbs and Ducky. "Well you made some really good progress" says the doctor, "I will set you up with a psychiatrist in a few weeks and you will have to be cleared both mentally and medically in a few weeks for field duty but it is safe to say that you can leave today" "Thank you doctor" says Tim. "Here are your discharge orders and I leave you in capable hands" replies the doctor.

"Well you are certainly looking better today Timothy" says Ducky. "You ready to get out of here Tim" asks Gibbs. "Sure lets go" says Tim still wondering why and when Gibbs starting calling him by his first name. The nurse brings in the final papers and the three men leave the hospital. They go to Gibbs' house and get Tim settled in. Then Ducky leaves to go back to NCIS to get back to work. Tim goes to lie down and Gibbs goes to his basement to work on his boat.

As he works on his boat, Gibbs goes over the time he spent in the hospital with Tim. He wonders when he finally admitted that he loved Tim. The suicide attempt really scared him. Gibbs knows he came really close to losing Tim and wonders on how to tell him. He has never been really good with words. Now Gibbs just had to find a way to let Tim know how he felt.

Tim took a nap for a few minutes and then decided to try to write for a few. He got out an unused notebook. He opened it and stared for fifteen minutes. Tim's mind started to wander. He started thinking about how he felt about his boss. Gibbs, the man was a mystery. Why was he calling Tim be his first name. It has always been McGee. Almost like he wanted to put distance between them. If he was honest with himself, he would admit that he was in love with his boss. He felt that Gibbs can never know how Tim felt about him. Tim doesn't think Gibbs will appreciate the fact that Tim is in love with him. Tim also wonders why Abby hadn't been by to see him. He thinks that she was just uncomfortable with a friend in the hospital.

Gibbs comes up from the basement and realized it was time for lunch. He calls Tim down for lunch. They fix it and eat. They talk about what it might be like going back to work. Ducky calls after lunch and checks up on Tim. He tells them that Tim can come back on desk duty in two weeks with an evaluation for field duty two weeks after that. Tony arrives after work followed by Ziva. They just want to check up on Tim. They let Tim know that if he needs anything to just let them know. They avoid talking about Abby. Tim notices this. Gibbs asks them to stay with Tim while he goes talk to Abby. He dreads the conversation to come.


End file.
